What is Politics

A kid goes to his dad and asks, “Dad, what are politics?”
His dad replies, ” Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am
capitalism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The
government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby
brother will be the future, and the Nanny is the working class. Now think about
that.”

So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his
diaper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the
bed. He didn’t want to wake her, so he went to the Nanny. The door was locked.
He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the Nanny. He went back to
bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, “Dad I know what you mean
now.”

“You do? Tell me.”

“OK, while Capitalism is screwing the Working class, the Government is sound
asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!”

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Yo mama has

Yo mama has a short arm and can’t applaude.

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Knock KnockWho’s there?Watusi!Watusi who?Watusi is

Knock KnockWho’s there?Watusi!Watusi who?Watusi is what you get!

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how many animals can you

how many animals can you fit in a condom. i dont know how many . 2bulls 1snake and as many hares as you can count.

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Un borracho est� frente al

Un borracho est� frente al palacio presidencial gritando:

“�EL PRESIDENTE ES UN PENDEJO, EL PRESIDENTE ES UN PENDEJO!”

R�pidamente, aparecen dos guaruras y le empiezan a dar de golpes por todos lados, y se lo llevan a rastras.

El pobre borracho empieza a implorarles:

“�Pero si me refer�a al presidente de Estados Unidos!”

Y un guarura le contesta:

“�No trates de confundirnos, cabr�n! �Nosotros sabemos cual es el pendejo!”

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If you take an Oriental

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

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Knock KnockWho’s there?Sam!Sam who?Sam day

Knock KnockWho’s there?Sam!Sam who?Sam day you’ll recognise me!

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Had a cousin once who

Had a cousin once who was the town drunk. Not that unusual really, unless
you considered the fact that he lived in New York.

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Bush

Why does Sadamm Husseins wife have no pubic hair?

Because when he is in bed he doesnt want to see Bush.

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Band Nerds

You are a band nerd when…

1. You can play about 4 instruments and look forward to practice.

2. You hang out with people who look half goth, half normal.

3. Your fingertips are calous, or your mouth is unusually strong.

4. You like pep band.

5. You know strange Italian terms, like sfz. rit. accel. pp. ff. mf. etc.

6. You can pronounce them.

7. You are seriously sunburned or mosquito bitten, or both.

8. Your feet and back ache like crazy the first week of marching band.

9. You have an unusual love of music.

10. You think the cheerleaders are off tempo.

11. Spit isn’t so disgusting.

12. You like at least one band no one has herd of.

13. You are in a band no one has heard of.

14. People think you are wierd.

15. You are wierd.

If you have any of these symptoms, contact me at 1-800-nerdalert-666-die (not a real phone number).

and oh, yeah… BAND RULES!!!!!!!!!

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